


Smiling When I Die

by 51177



Series: My Personal Fairy Tale [1]
Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom, Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdes - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Family, Insecurity, Juliantina - Endgame, Love, sweet sexy love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 07:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23467981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/51177/pseuds/51177
Summary: Juliana loves Valentina. More than anything in this world. If there is one thing she is sure of it's that Valentina was the North Star to her universe.But is that enough?
Relationships: Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Series: My Personal Fairy Tale [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1699873
Comments: 104
Kudos: 349





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, 
> 
> I'm not new to fan fiction, but this is the first time I've been brave enough to post something. So please bare with me. I don't have a beta but this work is very close to my heart. 
> 
> I would happily accept any constructive criticism or tips. But please be gentle LOL. 
> 
> Just a little caveat, I'm not from Mexico. Nor do I speak Spanish (sadly). So If I make any mistakes please let me know.

_"She was always the kind of dream that felt too real"_

**Prologue**

Juliana sat in the oversized lawn chair on the balcony of the apartment she shared with Valentina. Could she even call it an apartment? It was bigger than any place she could have dreamed of living. Even the chair she was on was the epitome of luxury. She can remember the day those beautiful blue eyes begged her to let them splurge, well splurge for Juliana, and get the two-seater for their balcony. _“Please mi amor? We could cuddle and watch the stars together.”_ How could she say no to that? Not only was it hard to say no to Valentina when she brought out those pleading eyes, but the chair itself was so comfy, and Juliana couldn’t wait to hold Valentina while they spent their nights looking at the stars.

She didn’t know why she was fixed on this memory. She watched the world below her, bathed in darkness and everything far too still and tranquil for this city. But she was stuck in her own head. They had just gotten back from Guille’s birthday and Valentina was taking a shower, while it was hard to deny her girlfriend a joint shower, she just needed a minute to herself. 

Her mind kept going back to earlier that night. And while Valentina tired, desperately so, to assure her that what she heard was wrong, Juliana couldn’t help but think there was some truth to what people thought of her. She hated that she felt this way. If there was one thing she was sure of in this chaotic life she lived, it was that Valentina was her soulmate. No one could love the blue-eyed princess like Juliana could. She loved Valentina with her whole being. It was the type of love that transcended everything. It was so special and pure that sometimes Juliana found there were no words to describe the true depth of how she felt. 

She was so caught up in her self-deprecating thoughts that she didn’t realize that Valentina was right by the sliding door, silently watching her. She didn’t realize that Valentina saw the tears, she was trying desperately to stop from sliding down her cheek. So it startled her when the soft, “Juls? Baby? What’s wrong amor?”, was whispered. She turned to see Valentina slowly approach her and sit sideways on the chair Juliana was on – practically on her lap. With Valentina’s arm around her neck and her free hand wiping away Juliana’s tears, she smiled softly, rubbing her hand up and down Valentina’s back. This was Valentina’s favourite seat in the house – or so she liked to remind Juliana every time there were out here.


	2. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a flashback chapter. Just to get some background into their lives.

_They had been living together for just over two years now. Once the hype and the drama settled down with the public and their families, Juliana and Valentina were able to do what all young love birds got to do – date. They went out to restaurants and movies. Valentina would surprise Juliana on her lunch break at school and go for a picnic in a nearby park._

_Everything was falling into place for Juliana. She got to attend the fashion school of her dreams thanks to a full scholarship and lots of encouragement, or nagging with the best intentions as Juliana would say, from Valentina. She was a few months shy of graduating and already had an upcoming internship with a new high-profile designer right here in Mexico. Her mom was finally happy and safe with Panchito. Valentina got her father back, even though Juliana had to take a deep breath every time she was near Leon, who still had the face of El Chino, it was worth it to see the smile on Valentina’s face. Lucia survived the terrible ordeal, and even though Eva was in prison for a short while longer, the Carvajals we happy. Which meant Valentina was happy. And if there was one thing that Juliana was thankful for it was that she had Valentina with her; by her side. They were able to freely express their love for each other and were finally able to live in bliss._

_It was six months after Valentina’s appearance on national television, and one too many close calls with the various members of the Carvajal household, that prompted Valentina to buy her own place. To be honest, Juliana always thought it was Valentina’s inability to be quiet during sex that prompted the move, but she kept that little bit of information to herself. Val dragged her to what felt like 1000 different skyscraper apartments trying to find one they both loved. But all Juliana would say in each new place was,_ “it’s your place, amor, it’s you that has to like it.” _It was the last places that they saw, in an apartment building in the city, and not too far from the Carvajal estate, that Juliana knew was the one for Val. It was a two-story loft, two large bedrooms, brick walls, and an abundance of sunlight coming in through the massive windows. Juliana remembers stepping into the balcony while Val spoke with the real estate agent and was in awe. The view was spectacular, and she could just picture spending her nights cuddled up with her love looking at the stars. Valentina later confessed that she saw Juliana’s face as she took in the balcony and its views; it’s what drove her to purchase the apartment on the spot._

_But that’s just what it was to Juliana – Valentina’s place. She would frequently sleep over and most of her clothes were in Valentina’s closet or some of her sketch books were in the second bedroom that Valentina converted into an office now that she worked at Grupo Carvajal part time. But at the end of the day, she would still go back to her apartment she shared with her mom and Panchito. There was no way she could contribute to the rent of a place that extravagant. All she wanted to do was be with Valentina, every second of everyday, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell the blue-eyed girl about her insecurities. So, every time Val brought up the subject of moving in together, Juliana said it was too soon._

_It was a few months of not knowing which apartment certain clothes were at, or where the sketches that were due the next day were, that prompted Valentina to bring up the idea of living together again. Juliana knew there was no way to avoid the conversation. Val was stubborn and she could smell Juliana’s fear from a mile away._

_“What is the reason really? That you don’t want to live with me”._

_Val brought up quietly and unexpectantly as they laid in bed one night, with her head on Juliana’s chest and Juliana playing with her hair. Val knew that Juliana heard her. She felt Juls lay still for a moment. Juliana had never been good at talking about how she felt. When it came down to how much she loved Valentina, the words flew out of her mouth like the most beautiful poetry ever written. But when it came down to the hard stuff, Juliana’s fears or insecurities, she was like a vault. So, Val gave her time, she softly played with Juliana’s fingers and hoped that this would be the night that Juls opened up to her about the situation._

_“It’s not that I don’t want to live with you, Val. Its just – ,“ she took a deep breath. She knew she owed it to Val to be honest with her. “I just can’t afford to live here. Even with my job at Perlita’s, I don’t make nearly enough to help with the expenses. I feel bad enough that I’m here all the time and can’t contribute.”_

_Val lifted herself off of Juliana and rested her head in her hand. She wanted to look at Juls in the eyes when she said this. Val delicately placed her free hand on Juliana’s cheek and moved her face so they can look at each other. She knew what she was about to say would not go down well._

_“Juls. I don’t need you to pay for anything. I just want to be with you. I want to start our lives together. I want this to be our home. I can handl-“._

_“No Val, I’m not going to live with you and not contribute. I’m not going to use you for your money”. Juliana tried to get up, but Val wouldn’t let her._

_“I don’t think you’re using me for my money. You know that. I’m more than okay paying the rent. Wait – “, Valentina held up a hand. She knew those were the wrong words. She could see the fight behind Juliana’s eyes. Juliana hated anything that looked like pity. “That didn’t come out right. I just want us to talk about it. I know this place is big and expensive”, all Juliana could hear was that there was a for you missing at the end of that sentence. “We can talk about how much you can contribute after you’re done school. I want you to focus on your studies and your designs. But I want my life with you to start.”_

_Much to Valentina chagrin, this went on for a while. Juliana couldn’t express how she felt. How inadequate she felt sometimes being with Valentina. All she wanted was to give her love everything great in this world. It was then, she realized, all Valentina wanted was her. Juliana realized she had to sit Val down and try to get the words out, she would have to try to express how she felt. That’s what you did in a relationship. More than trust Val, Juliana respected her, and she knew that she owed Val an explanation._

_It was one evening, when Valentina was trying to make dinner, that Juliana brought up the topic again. Val wasn’t the best cook, and the fire alarm went off a few times when Val tried to be adventurous. But it was cute. And Juliana knew Val was trying to learn how to cook for her, which made it even more adorable when Val would sulk and cross her arms over her chest when a dish didn’t come out right. But no matter what Val cooked, Juliana made sure to show her how much she loved it and Val. Even if things were burnt here and there. She looked at Val and realized this is what she wanted for the rest of her life. To wake up to the bluest eyes she’s ever seen and to end her days with the sweetest love she’s ever known. She wouldn’t even make fun of Val for setting the fire alarm off anymore._

_After a quiet dinner, Juliana worked up the nerve to try and get her thoughts out. “I want us together for the rest of our lives. All I ever want is to make you happy. And I swear to you, I want to live with you Val, but on one condition”. The words came out so randomly, Val didn’t even have time to show her surprise before the elation kicked in._

_“I want to pay something towards the expenses. And before you say anything, it’s just something I have to do. For me, Val.” “Okay, mi amor!” Val was bursting with excitement. Juliana made a commitment to herself right then and there. This was her mission in life. To make Val this happy everyday of her life._

_They agreed to a certain amount (after a lot of back and forth negotiations) of how much Juliana would pay. Juliana made sure Val understood that they would re-negotiate once she was no longer in school and working at the restaurant. Juliana was half tempted to make Val sign a contract, since she had a feeling Val wouldn’t let her pay any more than she was already. But instead they sealed it with a kiss. Which soon turned to making love for hours on **their** couch._

_It had been the most amazing two years. Juliana fondly remembers their last anniversary and how all Val wanted her to do was make love to her with their newly acquired strap-on on every surface of the house._

_Juliana never knew sex could be like this. She never knew that she could cry with so much love she had for Valentina every time she made Val climax. She never knew love could be this epic._

It should have been no surprise to her then, as with everything in her life, that things would go downhill. Julianna never had the kind of luck that you found in fairy tales. She should have known everything would come tumbling down eventually. She was always her own worst enemy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.
> 
> If you have any ideas of where you would like this to go, I'd be happy to know as well. 
> 
> I have about two more chapters done-ish. But I'm kinda just going with the flow with this one. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	3. The Birthday Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Guille's birthday and the beginning of an emotional rollercoaster for Juliana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the love on this! The kudos are very much appreciated and a huge thank you to those that left such nice and encouraging comments!
> 
> It also did make me realize the title sounds a bit... ambiguous - my bad!  
> It's a song: Smiling When I Die by Sasha Slone. 
> 
> It's a happy song! Well to me it is!

It was Guille’s birthday and while they were going to have a quiet dinner with the family on Sunday, Saturday was for a small group, well small for the Carvajals, of Guille and Valentina’s friends. They had decided to have a pool party at the Carvajal estate. Valentina had designated herself in charge of the music, since obviously Guille’s taste were “horrible” – her words. 

Juliana found herself unable to breathe properly the entire afternoon so far. Val looked stunning. She was in a two-piece red bikini, her hair was long and in large waves down her back, and she wore a sarong around her waist. All in all, she looked like a goddess. Watching the way Val’s hips would sway with the music made Juliana wish she still couldn’t dance so that no one other than herself got to see how Val’s hips moved to the music. 

Valentina knew exactly what she was doing to Juliana and she couldn’t help but smirk every time she caught Juls looking at her. The truth was, Valentina couldn’t get over Juliana’s outfit. She wore a black bikini, that showed off her insane abs, with unbuttoned jean shorts giving off a little teaser of her bikini bottoms, and her standard chucks. Val couldn’t get enough of her. A part of her wished they were alone so she could take advantage of those unbuttoned jeans. 

Juliana often felt a little out of place with Valentina’s friends. She couldn’t relate to their stories of crazy parties or trips around the world. To be honest, she felt invisible around them most of the time. She always tried to make an effort and they were always polite to her, even engaging her in conversation here and there. But most of the time she would stay by Val’s side. 

Which is where Juliana found herself. With a drink in her hand standing beside her girlfriend, with Vals arm around her shoulders and they swayed to the music. 

“Shit, Juls, Baby? Can you please get my charger form the car? I forgot it in the blue bag and my laptop is going to die.” Juliana just chuckled to herself, she knew this was going to happen. Val’s excitement got the best of her sometimes. 

“Sure, mi amor.” She gave Val a small kiss below her jaw. “I’ll be right back.” She was smirking when she walked away. She knew what those kisses did to Val. 

When Juliana searched the car there was no sign of a blue bag anywhere. She checked all over the car for any sight of the missing charger with no luck. She thought she would try Val’s old room. They pair had left their clothes in there in case they decided to stay the night instead of going back home, since they were supposed to come back the next day anyway. 

She finally found it on Val’s bed, under some clothes, with a small smile and eyeroll she made her way back to her girlfriend. 

But of course, Val was not where she left her. She walked around for a bit trying to find her and decided to try inside the house. It wasn’t hard for Valentina to be distracted by something or someone that dew her away from a task at hand. It was when she was crossing the yard to go to the living room when she thought she heard her name.

“Honestly, I can’t believe they are even still together”

“I thought Val’s trailer trash community service project was over.”

Juliana was stunned. It was Guille and Val’s friends. They were off to the side of the house where they couldn’t see her. 

“Come on, Dani. You know Val doesn’t think like that”

“Please, Tomas. You know it’s true. What can that leech offer la princesa de Mexico?” she heard one of the girls say. “Guille you agree with me, don’t you? There has to have been a time when you thought the same?”

This surprised Juliana the most. Guille was there? She didn’t realize that he, of all people, would feel that way about her. It’s not like Renata came from an abundance of money. She thought her liked her. He was always so nice to her and supportive of her relationship with Val. There was a time when he was literally the only one that supported them.

She was so caught up in her own thoughts she didn’t know Guille was stunned into silence. He was always a passive person and hearing what his “friends” thought about his sister’s girlfriend blew him away. 

“I heard she actually grew up in a trailer back in the States! Can you believe it?”

“And that she had to sleep around just so they could pay the bills.” 

“Val even told me she only befriended the girl because she felt bad for her. Maybe those sleeping around rumours were true. The sex has to be great if Val is still with her.” They all spoke over each other as the group broke out into laughter. At least this Juliana knew wasn’t true. There was no way Valentina would say this. _Would she?_. Juliana squeezed her eyes shut. These people were messing with her head. 

Juliana didn’t see Valentina and Renata walking towards her with a big smile on her face. She looked up and saw the moment Val knew something was wrong. Her smile dropped and she scrunched her eyebrows. As Val got closer to Juliana, she realized why Juls looked like she was about to cry. She could hear insult after insult coming from her friends. 

Valentina paused for a second wanting to confront the people she thought cared about her and her girlfriend. But she went to Juls first. “No, don’t listen to them. I’m going to go kick them out.” Valentina knew her words weren’t reaching Juliana’s ears. She was drowned out by the laughter outside. 

Valentina turned to Renata who was about to go outside, “Renata, can you please do me a favour and grab my bag and car keys from my room please?” 

“Sure, Vale, no problem.” 

Valentina kissed Juliana on her forehead, “Juls, please, mirame.” Her heart broke at the sight of Juliana, who hated crying in front of anyone, with tears in her eyes. Juls still hadn’t said a word.

Renata came back with their bags and the keys. “We’re leaving,” Val kissed Renata on the cheek, “can you just stay here for one second? I’m going to get my car.” “Of course,” Renata approached Juliana slowly, “Juliana? Don’t listen to them okay. Val loves you so much. They don’t know what they are talking about.” She tried her best to get through to Juliana. 

“They’re a bunch of entitled rich kids that have their egos so far up their assess they can’t see how stupid they are.” Juliana smiled slightly, but it was just for Renata’s sake. She wasn’t surprised that those people were talking about her, to be honest, she was waiting for the day that this would happen. What surprised her was that Guille didn’t say anything. 

Val grabbed her bag and stormed toward the group, she was going to tell them off and then bring the car around so they could go home. 

“Guys. Seriously stop. Stop talking about Juliana like that.” This sentence from Guille stopped Val and Renata dead in their tracks. Val couldn’t believe Guille was part of this.

“What the fuck is wrong with all of you?” The group jumped in surprise, they didn’t realize someone heard their conversation, let alone Valentina. “Get the fuck out of my father’s house.” She didn’t even give them a chance to respond. 

“Arillo!” she saw the driver off to the side by one of their cars. Valentina walked over to him and gave him her keys, “can you please bring my car around. Juliana are going home.” “Vale –“ Valentina didn’t even care who tried to talk to her. “And can you please ask Fabrizo to ensure that these people vacate the premises, por favor?” “Si, Miss. Valentina, of course.”

“Leave.” Was all she needed to say from them group to grab their things and begin to leave. Just as Arillo brought out Val’s care, Renata and Juliana came outside. Juliana didn’t look at anyone. She felt humiliated and went straight to the passenger seat. 

“Juliana, please, I – “ Guille started to say, “Get the hell away from her. What the hell Guille. How could you participate in something like that?”

“No, Vale, I promise I didn’t say anything. I was telling them to shut up.” He tried to defend himself. “Too little, too late. Don’t talk to me. I hope I can trust you to tell papa that Juls and I aren’t coming tomorrow. Happy birthday asshole. Try not to be such a pussy next time.” Giille had never heard Val talk to him like that. Sure, she teased him every chance she got, but to see the anger and disappointment in her eyes scared him.

Val was mad. To some extent she expected this from her friends. But her brother? He was the only one that supported their relationship back in the day. How could he be a part of bashing Juliana?

Valentina got into the car, “Juls, I’m so sorry you had to hear that. You have to know none of it is true.” Val didn’t even hear the full conversation, but for Juliana to react the way she did, she was sure much worse was said. “Please, baby, it’s not true.” “It’s okay, Val. Let’s just go home. And tell your dad you’ll be here tomorrow, it’s your brother’s birthday.” 

It didn’t go unnoticed that Juliana said _you_ , and not _we_ , will be back tomorrow. 

The sun has already set once they arrived at the underground parking lot of their building, and before Juliana had a chance to leave the car, Val stopped her by the arm. She tried to reassure Juliana that she didn’t think those things of her. Her so called friends were wrong. 

Even though Juliana smiled, gave Val the softest of kisses, and tried to reassure Val that she was okay. Val knew Juliana didn’t believe her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Please do continue to tell me what you think. I just want to put something out there that all of you will enjoy. 
> 
> I went back and forth with this chapter a lot... I don't want it to seem too anti-climatic.  
> This is not necessary the main conflict per se in the story, but it is the beginning of it. 
> 
> Thank you so much once again for reading! It really does mean a lot to me.


	4. Vulnerability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juls tried to open up to Val about what happened at the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I am blown away by the love you guys have given me.  
> I'm so glad you're liking this so far and some of you are finding the characters true to how they play out in the show. I was really hoping you would. 
> 
> It makes me feel so good to know that you guys have liked it.  
> It really warms my heart and makes me less scared of posting this LOL. 
> 
> This is a bit of a shorter chapter but an important one. We do see a little into Juls' head. Don't worry you'll get a longer one next. 
> 
> Thank you all so much once again!  
> And I'm sorry I didn't mention it before but please stay safe and healthy all of you during this uncertain time. We'll get through it soon. 
> 
> Love you all! - I really mean this.

“I love you, you know?” Juliana looked into Valentina’s eyes and they sat on the balcony. She knew she was scaring Val a little. But she was just taking her time. She was trying to find the right words. It seemed like that’s all she did. Try to find the words to describe how scared she really was. 

Juliana couldn’t look at Valentina anymore. It was hard enough being vulnerable. She knew if she saw any kind of emotion in Val’s eyes, she wouldn’t be able to get all of this out. “When I was younger, and up until I met you actually, I always felt so lonely,” she began. “I always wondered why no one wanted to play with me at school. I always thought it was because we couldn’t afford nicer clothes or the latest cool toys.

“But maybe it was just me. Maybe there was something wrong with me. My own father didn’t even acknowledge me. And while Lupe tried her best, I just wanted a friend. Someone that I could talk to, that would want to spend time with me. Play with me.” 

It took everything in Val not to respond. Her heart ached for this sad little girl that thought she had no one. She wished that she knew Juliana as a child, they would be the best of friends, Valentina would have made sure of it. 

“The kids would make fun of me because I lived in a trailer." she said with a self-deprecating laugh. "It was no better at home when Chino was there, though. I spent most of the time trying to be as small as possible. You never knew what would set him off.” She took a deep breath. She knew she was going off in a tangent, she just didn’t know how to talk to Val about what she heard earlier that night. 

“I spent so much time alone that I got used to it. When Chino would leave, and my mom didn’t have to work a double shift, we would get to spend the night cooking and I got to sleep in the bed with her. Those were some of my best days, no matter what happened at school.” At least this caused her to smile a little as she spoke. 

“As I got older, I always thought that I would never meet anyone to spend my life with. No one has ever been interested in me. And when you’ve been shown to told something your whole life, how do you unbelieve it?”

She feels a tear fall on her cheek and looks up to see Val with tears in her eyes. Juliana gives her a soft smile and wipes them away and places the softest of kisses just below Val’s jaw. 

“Then you bulldozed your way into my life and my heart,” she makes sure to look Val in the eyes when she says this, “and I swear to you, I’ve never felt more alive and seen, and just _loved_ before.

“You became the north star to my universe.” She says with as much conviction as she can. She wants Val to understand that she’s not just saying this.

“But, Val, baby. The thing is I’ve always been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just waiting for this luck to run out.” “Juls , no– “ there was no way that Val was going to let Juliana go down this path. “Wait,” Juliana has to stop Val before she can’t say anymore, “just hear me out for a bit okay?” After a nod in understanding from Val she continues. “I feel so,” she knows she has to use the right words here. She doesn’t want Val to think she did something wrong, “I feel so stupid for thinking someone like you could ever be with someone like me.”

“Stop.” Juliana has never heard Val’s voice so stern before. “Stop. Right now. Don’t even think about finishing that thought.” Val makes sure Juliana is looking at her when she says this. Despite the tears flowing, she’s actually mad that Juliana could think this way. 

“That’s not true. That little girl you spoke about just now, she deserves every good thing this life can bring her. _You_ deserve every good thing I or the universe can give you. I wish I could give you more. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could have been there every time Chino laid his hands on you. Or every time someone made you feel like you are worthless.”

“They’re right, Val. I’ll never be enough for you.” 

“No. They’re wrong. What I deserve, Juliana, is to be loved. I don’t need anyone to provide some sort of fantasy life for me. I don’t care about monetary things, you know that. I deserve someone that is going to put a blanket on me when I fall asleep on the couch, so I don’t get cold. Someone that will let me try to cook for them without getting mad that I set off the fire alarm because I suck. Someone that will text me funny pictures of puppies to make me smile. I deserve someone like you.

“Your love, and the way you love me, is like nothing I’ve ever felt in my entire life Juls. You make me so happy. So unbelievably happy. Everything I’ve ever gone through, every bad or good moment has been so worth it, because I get to live life with you. There is no one else for me. Why can’t you see that?” 

There is so much conviction in Val’s voice. Juliana wants to believe her so badly but something in her broke tonight. Something she’s not sure she can repair. 

“I know what you’re doing.” Val says after a moment of silence. 

“What am I doing?” 

“You’ve always hid behind this wall. No matter how much you open up to me I know there is so much more you’re hiding. You’ve never believed you’ve been enough for me and now you’re using what those assholes said as evidence.

“Please don’t let these walls that you put around you to keep out the sadness and the hurt, keep out the love as well. They are wrong Juls. Baby, you’re everything I could ever want or need. Please believe me.” 

Val is full on crying. If she’s honest with herself she’s scared. She knows Juliana loves her more than anything. But she also knows that Juliana wants to run. She wants the pain and the uncertainty to stop and the only way she can do that is if she runs from this. From them. 

“Please don’t let me live this life without you. I don’t think I’ll be able to survive it.” It’s this line from Valentina that Juliana knows she should just shut up and stop where her mind is going. Even if she has to fake it. She never wanted to be the reason that Val shed a single sorrowful tear.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry mi amor.” She’s wipes away the tears that are following down Valentina’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why it affected me so much. I love you. Forever. I’m sorry.”

Juliana kisses Val. The type of kiss that she would pour every ounce of love she had for the blue-eyed girl into. They kiss for a while before they both decide to call it a night and get some rest, cuddled up together where you couldn’t tell where one began and the other ended. 

Valentina hopes that they just need a good nights rest and they can put this conversation behind them. She’s glad that Juliana opened up to her. But she’s not going to lie. It scared her. 

Looking back, after that night, things were different. Valentina can’t pinpoint what exactly, but something was different. Juliana was as attentive, sweet, and loving as she’s ever been. But some part of her closed off. It terrifies Valentina that this could lead to something bad. She’s scared that talking about this would only push Juls into making a devastating decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? can Juls overcoming her own mind?
> 
> sorry to leave it like that lol. don't worry. I'm planning on posting the next chapter tomorrow or the next day. I just need to read it first. 
> 
> I'm trying to be at minimum two chapters ahead so you don't wait too long between updates - I know how I feel when I have to!


	5. Unlikely Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina tries to understand where Juliana is coming from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you all for the kudos and reviews!  
> I can't believe how spot on some of you were regarding Juliana and Valentina's thoughts (which comes out in this chapter a bit). 
> 
> I have to go to work tomorrow so I wanted to post this today, incase I don't have time, in appreciation for all the love!
> 
> And don't worry. I promise this story has a happy ending. 
> 
> I've read this 100 times.. So I apologize if there are any errors! I tried to catch them all.

Juliana woke up to the sun peeking in through the curtains. She looked at Val and took a deep breath, “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered. She placed the softest of kisses to Valentina’s forehead before getting up since she knew Val would ask her how she is if she stayed in bed. She doesn’t want to lie to Val, but she doesn’t want to talk about it either. 

They didn’t have any plans today, Juliana figured she would have had to play nurse and take care of Val’s inevitable hangover all day after the party. Valentina’s drinking significantly decreased in the years they have been together. She no longer went to alcohol when she couldn’t get a handle on life. She turned to writing or talking to Juliana. But last night was supposed to be a fun occasion. It was supposed to be a celebration and both Juls and Val wanted to have a good time. Too bad things didn’t go according to plan. 

Juliana also knew that she would have to figure out a way to get out of dinner tonight. She really didn’t want to go back to the Carvajal mansion so soon. She wasn’t emotionally prepared to deal with seeing Guille again, and even more so, protecting her mind from remembering Chino when she looked at Leon’s face. Especially after everything she brought up last night. 

“Hola Perlita,” Juliana hoped working tonight might be a good reason not to go to dinner, she prayed Perlita wouldn’t see through her desperation. _“Juliana! Hola, mi nina. Buenos dias querida?"_ Juliana couldn’t help but smile. Perlita really was sweetest old lady she’s ever met. She made sure not to call her old to her face though, she did it once while complimenting her and was stuck washing dishes for her whole shift. Valentina is always threating to tell Perlita Juls calls her old every chance she can get. But Juliana only means it in the best possible way. 

“I’m good, Perlita. Gracias. Our plans fell through tonight. I can work the closing shift tonight after all. Do you still need me?” _“Are you sure?”_ Perlita was a little skeptical, she thought it was Valentina’s brother’s birthday. Why would things fall through?

“Yes, I’m sure. I can come in.” Juliana tried to hide the pleading in her voice. Perlita had a feeling something was going on, but who was she to interfere? _“Actually, Alejandro has been driving me crazy asking for someone to switch with him. You can start at 5:00 if you want?”_ “Si! Yes! I’ll be there. Thank you, Perlita!” Believe it or not, this was the easy part. Juliana now had to tell Val that she all of a sudden has to work. 

Juliana ended her call with Perlita as soon as she could, she had a feeling Perlita knew something was going on. Now on to the next task of telling Valentina. She hoped if she made breakfast for Val it would soften the blow of not going tonight, actually lunch, since it was almost noon. Maybe she would even be adventurous and make chilaquiles for lunch. That always made Val smile.

XXXXXXXX

Valentina reached out for Juls when the slow tendrils of sleep were evading her. No matter how far she reached all she felt were cold sheets. “Juls?” Val opened her eyes to the sight of an empty bed. She sighed. She should have known this would happen. It was the delicious aroma that came from the kitchen that got her to sit up in bed. She knew exactly what Juls was making. Her favourite dish? At lunch no less? Something was up. 

After using the bathroom, Valentina went downstairs to the kitchen. She stood right by the stairs looking at Juliana who had her back facing her. Val slowly approached her and slid her arms around Juliana’s waist and placed a soft kiss on her exposed shoulder. “Good morning, bebecita.” 

“Good morning, Val,” despite the initial jump she would know those arms around her anywhere, she turned to give Val a proper good morning kiss, “I thought I would make you lunch!” 

“Chilaquiles for lunch? Now I know I’m getting spoiled. What’s the occasion?” Juls was in a cute and flirty mood, if the little kisses she gave Valentina all over her face, was any indication. “I can’t cook my girl’s favourite food without an occasion?” Juliana tried to respond in a teasing tone, she knew she was busted. 

“Uh huh, spill. What’s going on?” That deadly and sexy eyebrow raise from Valentina gave away that she knew something was going on with Juls. 

With a quick kiss to Valentina’s nose, Juliana turned around and grabbed the plates she prepared and put them on the dining room table. “Do you want to eat here? Or on the balcony? The weather is perfect today.” She tried to evade the question.

“Inside is fine.” Valentina stated, “but I know something is up.” She said as they both sat down and began eating. Juliana took a deep breath, “Perlita called me, she asked if I can help out tonight at the restaurant. Alejandro is begging her for the night off.” She kept her eyes on her plate and focused on eating. She knew it was bad lying to Val, she just didn’t want her to feel bad because of something her friends or brother said or didn’t say in Guille’s case. 

Valentina eyed her skeptically. She didn’t say anything at first. To be honest she was a little hurt that Juliana was lying to her. They promised to be open and honest with each other. “Since when do you lie to me.” She spoke softly. This caused Juliana to look up. She felt horrible. Everything she did was wrong. Even when she was trying to protect Valentina she was somehow screwing up. What was wrong with her? 

Juliana grabbed Valentina’s hand, “I’m sorry. You’re right.” She took a deep breath and tried to keep eye contact with Val. “I asked Perlita if I can work tonight. Ale was actually asking for the night off, that was true, so she said yes. I’m sorry, Val. I just don’t really feel comfortable going to your brother’s dinner,” before Val could interrupt, Juliana shook her head and continued to speak, “you need to go Val. He’s your brother. 

“After everything we talked about last night, I just don’t think I’m ready to be there right now.” She figured she should try to be honest with Val. It was more than just Guille. It was seeing Chino again, even if he was Leon Carvajal now. Seeing his face would always take her back to that scared little girl.

“No, I get it Juls. Don’t worry. You could have just told me. You didn’t have to make up a story. I’m always going to be in your corner and support you however you need me to. No matter what.” Valentina tried to reassure Juliana. “We’re both not going.” She said with certainty. “We’re going to watch movies today and I’m finally going to beat you in strip Go Fish.” She said with a smile. They’ve never actually had a winner in strip Go Fish. One or both of them would get so distracted they would just end up having sex. 

Juliana briefly smiled at the memory before she realized what Val actually said. “No way, Val. You have to go. He’s you- “Juliana tried to say. “He’s an asshole. I’m not going.” Valentina took her hand away and walked around the table to sit on Jul’s lap, lunch forgotten. “Even if he didn’t say anything, he disrespected you and me by being part of that conversation. Maybe it’s time he learned to grow some balls for once.”

“Val you can yell at him later. But if we both don’t go tonight your family is going to know something is wrong. And I really don’t want them to. I would rather it just stay between us. I’ve already gotten over it.” Juliana tried to reason with Valentina. 

“But you haven’t. You wouldn’t be staying home or going to work if you were ‘over it’” she used to air quotes, “and I don’t expect you to. I’m not over it. I know you were hurt, Juls. And you have every right to be.” Valentina kissed her then. Not for any reason other than she needed to feel connected to Juliana. She needed Juls to know how much she loved her. “They disrespected me too, babe, and I don’t take any of that lightly. I’m always going to be on your side. I’m 100% team Juls.”

Juliana couldn’t help but smile. She knew Val would always be by her side. But this was different, this involved her family. “Please Val? If not for Guille do it for your dad or your niece. I don’t want them to know something is wrong.” Juliana pleaded. “I’ll be there for family dinner next week, I promise. I just can’t go tonight.” Juliana tried to reason. She hated attention. Even when it came to her designs, she preferred to stay in the background. If everyone knew what had happened yesterday there would be some sort of confrontation and Juliana did not want people talking about her nor did she want any rifts between the Carvajal’s because of her. 

XXXXXXX

She didn’t want to go to dinner, but Valentina didn’t want to push Juliana any further. So she went, but was adamant that she wasn’t going to stay beyond what was reasonably expected of her. 

Valentina pulled up to her father’s house and took a deep breath, she knew at some point she would have to explain why Juliana wasn’t going to be there, but she hoped most of her family wouldn’t catch on to the fact that she was trying to hide something. 

Silvina opened the door for her with a big smile on her face, “mi nina! Come in dear.” No matter how upset she was, seeing Silvina so happy to see her always put a smile on Val’s face. “Vale! How are you my sweet girl?” Before she knew it, Valentina was enveloped in tight hug from her dad. She didn’t realize until that moment, but it was something she really needed after the emotional day she had. “Hola, papa, Silvina. I’m good,” she said with the biggest smile she could make given the circumstance. 

“Where Juliana?” It was strange for Leon to see his daughter and girlfriend separately, especially for a family gathering. He had been trying his hardest to have a relationship with the girl that put a smile on his daughter’s face. He knew how hard it must be for Juliana to have to face him with the face of someone that caused her so much pain. “Perlita had an emergency at the restaurant and really needed Juls to work tonight. She’s sorry she couldn’t make it, but she wanted to help Perlita out.” Val hoped her dad believed her. 

“That’s too bad. She’s going to be missed. Mateo and Isabelle are here already. You know how much Iz loves to play with her Tia Juls.” Leon always loved to tease Juliana about how much his two-year-old granddaughter loved Juls. Juliana was the only one Isabelle ever wanted to be around when they were all together. Much to Val’s severe jealousy. While it made Juliana a little uncomfortable that someone so tiny was following her around all the time, she did think Isabelle was the cutest thing and loved that someone so young and innocent could look up to her. Even if she didn't understand why.

“Maybe it’s a good thing Juls isn’t here. She can’t hog my baby niece. Where is that cutie.” Valentina was glad for the change of subject in a sense. She just wanted to get this night over with. 

Just as Valentina was about to go into the living room a little head popped up from the couch. “Tia Val?” it was so sweet how excited Isabelle got whenever she got to see her family. Valentina knew Mateo was trying his best, with Eva in prison it wasn’t easy being a single father, but he was doing such a good job with her niece. Even though Valentina never brought it up to Juls, it gave her an incredibly warm feeling seeing her niece and her girlfriend together. It made her hope for a future she never knew she always wanted. 

“Iz! Bebecita! Why are you growing up so fast!” Valentina made a beeline for her niece, not caring who else was in the room for a moment and swept her up in a bone crushing hug while smothering her with kisses. It made everyone in the room smile at the sound of Isabelle’s laughter as she tried to push Val away. Once the two calmed down Isabelle gave Val a sloppy kiss to the cheek, “Hola!” she practically yelled while raising her little chubby hands in the air. It was too cute not to smother her with more kisses.

“Juls?” To no one’s surprise, Isabelle instantly asked for her favourite person. “I’m sorry baby, Tia Juls had to work today. She can’t come.” While Valentina was sad herself, she couldn’t help but smile at the cute frown and pout from Isabelle. “No Juls?” “No Juls, baby. But she said she promises to be here next weekend okay?” This seemed to placate the young girl who then found something more interesting to do now that her favourite person wasn’t there. 

Valentina envied this about the young girl, she was sad but was able to move on in a matter of seconds. She dreaded the day that that innocence would leave her niece. 

“Juliana isn’t coming?” Guille asked, fearing the real reason she wasn’t there. He wanted to apologise and reassure her that his friends were idiots and he was sorry he didn’t speak up sooner. He really was thrown off guard. 

“Well you don’t see her here, do you?” There was an instant silence that took over the room. Leon had never heard Valentina speak to her brother that way. They were always teasing each other and sibling fighting was not new. But this sounded like Valentina was genuinely mad at Guille. 

“What’s going on? Are you guys okay?” Leon couldn’t help but ask. “Yea, we’re fine. When is dinner being served? I can’t stay too late unfortunately, I told Juliana I would pick her up since I don’t want her coming home alone at night.” Valentina knew it was another lie, but this time, she didn’t care if they believed her or not. 

Just as Guille was about to respond Silvina came into the living room to tell everyone that they were ready to serve the food, completely unaware of the underlying tension. 

Dinner went on much the same way, Guille trying to talk to Val about anything, and Val responding in monosyllabic, half-hearted answers. Leon knew something was going on but did not want to interrupt dinner. He vowed to talk to Valentina before she left. 

Once they were all waiting for desert and cake to be served, Valentina excused herself to the kitchen. She told everyone she was getting a drink, but to be honest she needed a minute to herself. The whole night she was trying to avoid the elephant in the room. She didn’t realize how integral Juliana was to her family life until she wasn’t physically there. She missed her. And she hated that the reason Juls wasn’t there was because of what happened yesterday. If she was honest with herself, she hated what consequences could come from this situation. She didn’t want Juliana to realize that this life wasn’t for her. 

She had braced herself against the counter when she heard her brother’s voice, “Vale? Please talk to me.”

“How could you do that, Guille?” Long gone was the anger and the death stare from his sister, now she was just sad. Guille preferred the glares if this was the alternative. “How could you participate in that. You know how much I love her. And not only that, you know how much she loves me. She would do anything for me. How can you let people say those things about her?”

“Vale, I swear to you I was going to tell them off. It just caught me so off guard. I didn’t think any of them would ever say something like that about Juliana.” Valentina just shook her head at her brother’s apology. She didn’t want to hear it. She was tired and she just wanted to go home to her girlfriend. 

“You know what? I don’t want to talk about this with you. I get you’re sorry. And I’m sure I’ll forgive you soon, but it’s not my forgiveness that you need. You need Juls’. I just-“ she couldn’t do this right now, she couldn’t have this conversation with her brother before making sure Juliana was 100% okay, “I just need some air. I’ll be right back.” With that Valentina walked away from her brother and stealthily walked out the front door. She wasn’t leaving but she really did need some air before she went back in. She knew she wasn’t discrete with how she was acting, and she just didn’t want to deal with the questions. She finally understood why Juliana didn’t want to come tonight. 

Unbeknownst to her, Leon and Lucia saw Val leave. Just as Leon was about to go talk to his daughter, Lucia stopped him. “Let me, amor. Let me talk to her.” With the nod of Leon’s head Lucia followed Valentina outside. And without a care in the world about her while dress she sat beside the youngest Carvajal on the stone steps, put an arm around her shoulders, and gave a motherly kiss to Valentina’s temple. 

“Valentina? Are you okay?” Lucia concern made Val close her eyes. She didn’t want to break down, not now, not when Juls wasn’t here to catch her. She knew this wasn’t about her, she knew that this was Juliana’s battle, but the truth was that she was so scared. No matter how many times they fought or had a disagreement, she was never scared that Juliana would run from this. From them. And it seemed like no matter how much reassurance she tried to give her girlfriend, there was so much that Juliana wasn’t telling her. 

“Si, Lucia, don’t worry I’m fine. I just miss Juls.” At least this wasn’t a lie. 

“What happen? How come she’s not here? Does it have something to do with why Guille looks terrified to be around you?” Lucia figured she could try and lighten up the situation if it meant Valentina would open up to her. The younger girl was so open and free with her feelings. No matter who they were directed to. The thought that something would have happened that caused Valentina to close up worried Lucia. She knew she wasn’t Valentina’s mother, but she sincerely hoped that the younger girl knew she would be there for her no matter what. 

She didn’t want to betray Juliana, but Valentina really needed someone to talk to. Whenever she has a problem Juls is always there with a shoulder to cry on and sage wisdom to offer. But what about when the issue was Juliana? Who was Valentina to go to then? She wanted to talk about what happened at the party, but she didn’t want anyone to treat Juliana any differently. She would know that Valentina said something which would cause more issues. Maybe Lucia was a safe bet, she might even be able to offer Valentina a little insight into Juliana’s mind considering all the problems she faced when she first got together with her dad. 

“I don’t want to betray Jul’s trust and say things I shouldn’t, but something happened at the party yesterday. Some of our friends said some horrible things about Juliana and…” she didn’t know what she was trying to say. How does Valentina say she is scared when Juliana was the one that was hurt? “I don’t know, Juliana is not herself. I think she’s taking things to heart. And if I’m honest Lucia, I’m scared.”

“Sacred of what, my girl?” Lucia had a feeling she knew where this was going. “I’m just scared that she will listen to those assholes and think she’s not good enough. No matter what I say I don’t think it’s making anything better. I’m scared that she will run. That she will think she’s doing it for me,” Val can’t help but shed a few tears. 

“I don’t want to lose her Lucia. But I don’t know how to make her understand that I don’t care what they say.”

“I get that, Vale. But why are you so mad at Guille?” “Because. He was there. He was with them, and even though he didn’t say anything, he didn’t stop them soon enough and Juls heard everything they said.” Valentina knew that a part of her was taking out her frustrations on her brother. She could let him explain. But right now, she was just so hurt by him. 

It all made sense to Lucia now. While she understood Valentina’s fear, she could also relate to Juliana in a way that she never wanted for the younger girl. “It’s no secret that no one wanted me with your papa. Eva was even the president of that fan club,” Valentina couldn’t help but smile. Eva was ruthless when she had an idea in her head, she’ll give her that. “They all thought I was using him for his money. And while I most definitely have not made the smartest decisions, I did and do love him very much.

“What you might not know is that I tried to leave him. After everything happened with Johnny and I left hospital, I tried to leave your father. I didn’t think I was worth forgiving. What I did,” she took a deep breath, there were times Lucia still couldn’t believe she was that person that hurt the man she loved so deeply. “There is no forgiving that. But Leon wouldn’t let me. He told me that in moments of anger he hated me for what happened. But that he loved me too much to let that pain consume him.”

“That sounds like papa.” It made Valentina smile that her father found happiness with his soulmate. He deserved it. “Juliana is hurting. She loves you so much, Vale, but she was probably scared that there would be a day when you wouldn’t love her. No matter the reason. And while she loves you, she’s probably trying to protect herself too.” Val could only shake her head, “no. No Lucia, there is no way I could ever imagine not being with her.”

“I’m sure she knows that deep down. But what happened is all new and fresh. And despite what those people may have said in the past, this is the first-time that Juliana has heard it. And not to mention that Guille was there. She probably felt betrayed. Give her some time Valentina. And reassure her every chance you get that you love her.” 

“You’re right. It just happened. I shouldn’t jump to conclusions so fast. I should give her time to deal with it and just be there for her.”

“And let Guille talk to her too. Let him explain. Give him a chance to show how sorry he is. And I know he is Valentina. He’s looked like a sad puppy the whole night.” This finally caused Valentina to laugh. 

“I will. Gracias, Lucia. You’re really good at this motherly advice you know?” It warmed Lucia’s heart to hear Valentina say this. She knew she wasn’t the girl’s mother, but she’s always wanted to be someone that Valentina can count on. Valentina had been nothing but supportive of her since she started seeing Leon, it was the least she could do. 

Once cake was eaten, Valentina said goodbye to everyone. Making sure to give extra kisses to her sleeping niece. She’d win the little girl over to her side one of these days. Before she left, she made sure to hug her brother and tell him they would talk soon. For now, she just wanted to go home to her girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things might get worse before they get better. There is a lot Juliana has to work on if she wants that happily ever after with Val. And I promise, she will!
> 
> But there might have a steamy scene coming up next chapter..... 
> 
> Look out for that soon.


	6. Sweet Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things haven't been okay between the two of them. All they want is to feel connected again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok... so... I'm really nervous about this chapter.  
> I've never written smut before so I hope you guys like it...
> 
> And obviously there is smut here.. in case that's not your thing (it won't hurt you story wise if you skip this chapter)
> 
> **blushes**
> 
> thank you so much for the reviews, kudos, and subscriptions once again! I'm going to try and reply to everyone. but I have so many ideas for this story I can't stop writing!!! one good thing from this pandemic I guess. 
> 
> And don't worry. Little Isabelle will be back soon!
> 
> I now this chapter is a little short, but I think the girls needed a little sexy break. You'll get another one tomorrow once I'm done reading through it!
> 
> Thank you again!

**JULS** ❤️: Hey baby, I’m just leaving my dad’s. Do you want me to pick you up?

Valentina waited a few minutes before she left her father’s place. She was hoping Juliana would want her to pick her up, she just wanted to see her girlfriend and find some reassurance in those beautiful brown eyes. 

_**VAL - Mi Vida** : No, don’t worry babe. I’ll just grab an Uber. I still have to be here for about another hour and a half to clean up anyway.  
I’ll be home soon. Besos. _

**JULS** ❤️: okay, love. See you soon. Love you!

Once Val got home and took a shower, she changed into a tank top and pair of underwear and got into bed. All she could think about was her conversation with Lucia. She knew her and Juliana had to talk, and not just about what happened yesterday, she knows she shouldn’t be afraid to talk to her girlfriend. But it’s barely been 24 hours since all the drama went down. Maybe she just needed to give Juls some time. Or, more likely, maybe she was justifying being scared to bring up a topic that could easily spiral out of control. 

Juliana walked into a dark apartment. She knew Val was home, a part of her hoped Val was sleeping. She didn’t want to talk about not being at Guille’s party again. She knew her absence would be noticeable.

Val was facing away from her when she went into the bedroom. Juliana walked around to the bed to sit beside Val, she couldn’t help but tuck Val’s hair behind her ear. Valentina really was the most beautiful person she’s ever seen. Juliana placed a soft kiss to Val’s temple and whispered a soft, “I love you so much.” She was about to get up when she felt Valentina lightly grab onto her wrist. 

“You’re home?” Juliana felt bad that what was supposed to be a statement came out as a question. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“No, don’t be. I was trying to wait for you. Maybe I ate too much food and passed out.” Valentina tried to lighten the mood. 

“Pig.” She laughed as she tried to avoid the inevitable smack to her arm. “I’m kidding, babe, I’m just going to take a quick shower okay. I smell of restaurant. Sleep if you’re tired. I’ll be right back.” She gave Valentina a quick kiss before taking a shower herself. 

Juliana knew Valentina wasn’t sleeping, so it was no surprise that when she slid under the sheets, Valentina turned towards her and wrapped her arm around Juliana’s waist. They just looked into each other’s eyes. Even with just the moonlight streaming in, Valentina’s eyes always looked so expressive. At this moment they showed fear and uncertainty. Juliana knew the only way to rid her girlfriend of that troubled look was to talk to her. But she couldn’t. Not until she had the right words to say. She never did know how to be vulnerable. While she loved and respected Valentina with everything in her, Juliana knew how important communication was in a relationship. Sadly, knowing and doing were not the same thing. She didn’t know how to tell her why she was feeling so unworthy. It was ironic really. She spent so long worrying about not being good enough for Valentina, she unconsciously became exactly that by not communicating. Val deserved reassurance, and Juliana vowed to give it to her soon. Hopefully. 

All Juliana could do for now was kiss her. She didn’t have the words yet, but she would. For now, she would pour every ounce of love she had for this blue-eyed princess. So Juliana did just that, she kissed Val, showing rather than saying how much she loved her and prayed that for now, it was enough.

Kissing Juliana was like Christmas morning. No matter how long they were together, kissing Juliana, would always be Valentina’s favorite feeling. They kissed for what felt like hours, where it could have just been mere minutes, before Juliana shifted on top of Val. She moved one leg in between Val’s and with a hand on Valentina’s hip, Juliana kissed her with all the passion in the world. 

“I’ll never get over how much I love you.” Juliana whispered into Valentina’s ear as she kissed a path from her ear down to her clavicle and snuck her hand under Valentina top; inching her way to a protruding nipple. Valentina had one spot, on the underside of her jaw, that always caused the sweetest moan to escape her lips. No matter what Juliana was doing, once she kissed Val in this one spot, Valentina just melted. “Please, baby,” a breathy moan escaped Valentina as Juliana knew just where to make Valentina dig her nails into her back. 

“Please, I need you.” Juliana raised herself on her knees and, and agonizingly slow, took Valentina’s tank top off. As soon as the garment was thrown off to the side, Juliana kissed Val, her tongue demanding entrance. They couldn’t help but moan when Valentina opened her mouth wider, welcoming Juliana’s tongue as she swiped her thumb over a stiff nipple. Slowly, Juliana kissed her way down Valentina’s flushed chest and swirled her tongue around the other nipple before sucking slightly. Their hips moving in tandem desperately trying to find some form of friction. 

Valentina held Juliana in place, not wanted her mouth to stop working wonders on her chest. She was so focused on Juliana mouth she wasn’t prepared for the moan that escaped her when Juliana’s hand slide under her panties and one lone finger grazed her wet center. “Ohhh god, please, Juls. Baby, please.” Valentina didn’t even know what she was asking for, she just need more of Juliana right then and there. 

Juliana kissed her way back up to Valentina’s mouth, “tell me what you want baby. How do I make you feel good?” This was more than just sex for them. This was the epitome of making love. Of showing the one person in the world who you would die for, how much you love them. “I just –“ Valentina couldn’t concentrate with Juliana kissing her neck and running her finger through her wet folds. "Do you want me to get the strap-"

Before Juliana could finish her sentence, Valentina lifted Jul’s face so she could look into those brown eyes that were almost black with want and need, “I just want you. Nothing else.I need you inside me, I need you to love me.” Just as Valentina finished the sentence Juliana push two fingers into Valentina’s moist heat. Pumping in and out slowly. She would love Valentina with everything she has. 

A disgruntled cry left Valentina’s lips when Juliana pulled out. Jul’s quickly slid wet panties down impossibly long legs as Valentina practically ripped off Juliana’s t-shirt. Juliana then took off her own boy shorts before making her way between Valentina’s legs again. She wanted to feel the girl below her in every way. Once again inserting two fingers into the dripping wet apex of Valentina’s thighs. Val could not control her moans as she thrust her hips to meet Juliana’s talented fingers. Juliana kissed her way down Valentina’s body, only one destination in mind. She pulled out her fingers, and grabbed on to Valentina’s thighs, as she licked a torturous path along Valentina’s center. 

Valentina’s hand grabbed the sheets in a vice like grip as her other hand shot to Juliana’s head as pleasure ripped through her entire body. Begging her to stay right where she was. “Please, mmmm, fuck. Please baby, don’t stop.” Hearing Valentina curse during sex would forever turn Juliana on. She never realized that something that could seem so vulgar could bring nothing but immense pleasure to her. 

“Please Juls-“ a throaty moan escaped Valentina, “please don’t stop, I’m – oh god – I’m so close.” With her hips thrusting to Juliana’s face, Valentina could feel her impending orgasm. “I’m gonna to cum baby, don’t stop!” Juliana moved her mouth to wrap her lips around Valentina’s protruding clit as she pumped in and out of her girlfriend with her fingers. Even without the feeling of Valentina’s wall clamping down on her fingers, Juliana could tell how close Valentina was based on how tight she was grabbing onto her hair and the rapid breathing coming from above her. 

With one final thrust Valentina’s orgasm shoots through her with the sexiest moan Juliana had ever heard. After wiping her chin with her free hand, Juliana kissed her way back up Valentina’s body to her mouth, while still inside Valentina, helping her ride out her orgasm. Valentina passionately kissed Juliana back while the tremors in her body began to subside. It secretly turned Juliana on knowing that Valentina was tasting herself when they kissed after going down on her. 

They couldn’t get enough of each other. It was no denying how much they loved each other. Even with uncertainty in both their minds, the love they had for each other would never be in doubt. 

They kissed slower and with a gentleness that always existed between them. Juliana unconsciously slid her leg between Valentina’s just as Valentina hooked her left leg over Juliana’s hips like a practiced, synchronized dance they had both perfected over time. Bringing their sensitive centers together, eliciting a loud moan from the both of them. 

Valentina was always surprised how quickly Juliana could make her cum, and more surprised that they could make love and climax multiple times for hours. It always took past lovers much longer for Valentina to reach that bliss, if she ever did. But it was all Juls. It was finally making love instead of have sex that made her crave nights like this. 

“Fuck, Val. You feel so good, baby.” Juliana only really swore when she was in the throes of passion. And nothing made Valentina happier. Grinding their centers together, wet sounds indicated how wet and ready they both were, caused Valentina to dig her nails into Juls' back. Valentina was already on the cusp of another orgasm and doing anything to Valentina that caused Val to moan in that throaty way, instantly made Juliana ready for a release. 

They stared into each other’s as they were both were reaching the point of no return. As Juliana braced herself on her left arm resting on the pillow at Valentina’s head, she used her right hand to hold onto Val’s left leg and their thrusts became more frantic. Juliana briefly closed her eyes as Val’s hand reached in between them to spread herself open for Juliana, knowing how close she was. They stared into each other’s eyes. Other than bringing each other to an intense orgasm, looking into each other’s eyes while making love and seeing the love and passion resonate between them, would be something they both would remember for the rest of their lives. 

This night however, Valentina saw something different. “Don’t look at me like that.” She said without thinking. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe let alone speak coherently as both of them approached their impending climax. “Like what.” Juliana managed to breathe out. “Like this is the last time you’ll see me.” Of all the things she expected to come out of Valentina’s mouth, this wasn’t it at all. Juliana put every ounce of reassurance she could into her final thrust, they were almost to the point of exploding. “I never want to be without you, I love you so much.” With this line they both cried out as they came together. 

Slowly they helped each other ride out their last tremors of their release. Kissing each other with everything they had. “I love you so much, Val.” 

With both of them trying to catch their breath, Juliana turns on her back bringing Val into her and holding her close, while she pulled the comforter over the both of them Valentina kissed any exposed part of Juliana’s sweaty body she could reach, “I love you too, Juls. So, so much.” 

They instantly fall asleep. Wrapped in each other’s arms, praying that they would be together forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeez... I hope that was okay...
> 
> please let me know if I need to change any ratings or if you feel I should add any additional tags. Thank you!
> 
> just as a warning the next two chapters will be hard...  
> but it will get better after that!
> 
> I tried to catch any mistakes so hopefully I got them all!


	7. Fight or Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to fall apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad the last came out okay!  
> Cuz I'm pretty sure you guys are going to hate me for this one. 
> 
> Just keep in mind. I have one more hard one and then it will be sunshine and rainbows... 
> 
> As always, thanks so much for the love!!
> 
> Please be nice LOL.

_“It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless.”- Sam Smith, Before you go_

They never did get to talk about what Valentina said that night while they were having sex. Juliana woke up for school the next morning and only had time for a few quick kisses and an I love you before she had to leave. Family dinner had been called off that week due to Isabelle coming down with a cold and Guille and Mateo having to manage a crisis at Grupo Carvajal. 

Despite this, things were going relatively smoothly for a short while between the couple. Considering the underlying tension though, they should have known they wouldn’t be living in bliss for too long. Initially they were fine, Juliana tried to be as attentive and caring as always, all the while trying to figure out when and how to talk to Val about what was going on in her head. Neither of them had talked to Guille despite his attempts to reach out, they both unbeknownst to the other, evaded the text messages and phone calls. Juliana didn’t want to deal with him until she knew how to explain her mental turmoil to Valentina. 

A week after Guille’s party things started to deteriorate. No matter what one of them did, it would cause small petty arguments. Valentina leaving the dishes in the sink all day. Or Juliana leaving her designs all over the apartment. Little things that would not really bother them, were mounting up to be sources of conflict. 

It was Sunday evening, two weeks after Guille’s birthday, and they were due to be at the Carvajal’s for family dinner. Leon tried his best to get everyone for dinner once a week. With the noticeable absence of Eva and his inability to have a proper work-life balance before his death, he vowed to make sure his family stayed close and connected now that he had a second chance. Especially after the birth of his granddaughter. 

Juliana was busy finishing up some sketches that were due the upcoming week that she completely lost track of time. “Are you still going to come to dinner tonight?” The softness of Valentina’s voice surprised her, especially after a week of constant bickering and arguing between the two. Valentina didn’t want to push Juliana into going to dinner if she really didn’t want to. But there was no way they would get away with that after Guille’s birthday. 

“Que? Yes, yes. I’m coming. Sorry. I lost track of time.” All she got was a slight nod from Valentina. Maybe the blue-eyed girl was just as tired of arguing as she was. At least that’s what Juliana hoped. She hoped that it wasn’t indifference that she heard in Val’s voice. She would much prefer the arguing. At least that way Valentina still cared. 

They both got ready silently and made their way to dinner. It was strange to be in the car with Valentina without either of them talking. The underlying tension felt like it was suffocating them both. “Why are we fighting so much?” Valentina had been wanting to ask this question the entire week. This wasn’t like them at all. 

“I don’t know Val. I’ve been pretty stressed with school and stuff. I’m sorry. I’ll try better.” Juliana’s reaction surprised Valentina. “I’m not blaming you Juls. I just don’t get what’s going on with us. Is it me?” Valentina couldn’t help but feel vulnerable at a time like this. 

“No, of course not. Why would you think that?” 

Before Val could answer they pulled up to the Carvajal estate. Fabrizo walking over to them to open the door on Valentina’s side. “You know what, let’s just talk about this later. Let’s just have dinner and we can talk at home.” It wasn’t the reassurance that Valentina was looking for but Juls was right. It was not the time to start this conversation. 

XXXXX

The pair made their way inside to say hello to everyone and hoped to evade any conflict or awkwardness. 

As soon as they descended the 3 steps into the living room a loud “Juls!” rang out. Isabelle ran to Juliana who crouched down to hug the little girl. “Hola!” “Hi iz! How’s my favorite girl? Are you feeling better? Did you have fun at day care this week?” Leon always suspected that one of the reasons that Isabelle loved Juliana so much was because she always spoke to the toddler like any other person, even if Isabelle didn’t understand half the words Juliana was saying, Juliana never spoke to her like a baby. “Fun, fun, fun!” This made Juliana laugh, a real laugh, for the first time since that inevitable day. Which didn’t go unnoticed by Valentina. 

Juliana loved Isabelle, there was no doubt about that. But it made her nervous when Isabelle wanted Juls to carry her or feed her. She didn’t know how to take care of the little girl. What if she did something wrong or accidently hurt the little girl? She was thankful when Valentina spoke up and unknowingly brought her out of the spiral her mind was taking her on. “What about me Iz! Don’t I get a hi?” Valentina always made it known how jealous she was that Isabelle preferred Juliana. “Hola, Tia Val!” Isabelle hugged Val around her legs as best as she could. But then turned right back to Juls. “Juls. Up.” “Say please Isabelle.” Mateo piped up from the living room. Isabelle looked to her dad and then back at Juls, “Juls. Up. Peas” How could this little angel not make anyone smile. “So demanding for a two year old, she probably gets it from her Tia Val.” Guille walked in just as Juliana picked up Isabelle who latched onto her like a little koala. 

“Hola, Juliana.” “Hola, Guille.” The interaction felt very strained between the two, Guille knew he needed to do something to rectify this. “I know this might not be the best time, but can I talk to you for a second? Por favor?” “Sure, let me just give Iz to Val.” Just as Juliana was about to walk away with Isabelle, it’s as if the toddler heard her. “No Juls” She said as she just held on tighter and rested her little head on Juliana’s shoulder. “I guess Iz is coming with us.” Guille smiled as he ushered Juliana down the hall away from the prying eyes and ears of his family. 

“Juliana, I am so sorry about what happened at the party. I swear to you I was going to stop them. It honestly took me by surprise.” Juliana couldn’t look at him yet. Deep down she knew it wasn’t his fault, but just the fact that he was there and didn’t say anything hurt her. 

“I’ve always been the type of person to react late. Even if I got into an argument with Renata or someone. I would always know what to say after the fact. And I’m so sorry that this quality of mine resulted in you being hurt. 

“I don’t agree with anything they said. I’ve never seen my sister so in love. But more importantly, as her older brother, I am very protective of her. I don’t want anyone to hurt her. And Juliana,” Juls couldn’t help up look at him this time, “if there was anyone on this planet I would wish for my sister it’s you. I see the way you look at her and how well you treat her. And I can honestly say I thank God for everything this family has been through if it means my sister got to meet you.”

Juliana can’t help take a deep breath, “Thank you Guille. I don’t blame you for what happened. It’s not your fault.” She didn’t want to cry or divulge deeper into what was going on in her head with Guille. But to be honest she really didn’t care for his apology. She was over expecting him to act differently. She just wanted get over whatever was bothering her so much and fix things with Valentina. If there was anyone that deserved to know what was going on with her, it was Valentina and not Guille. “I’m okay. Really, don’t worry it.” Unnoticed to the both of them Isabelle lifted her head off of Juliana’s shoulder. She looked back and forth between her Tia and Tio and knew something was wrong. As soon as Juliana involuntarily sniffled, Isabelle’s eyes began to water and her bottom lip started to tremble. “Juls sad?” For a moment Juliana genuinely thought Isabelle fell asleep, so to see the little girl crying surprised her. 

“No. No Iz, I promise I’m not sad.” Despite her words Isabelle began to cry. She shied away from Guille and tucked her head in Juliana’s neck. She didn’t want anyone to make her Tia Juls sad. 

Juliana began to pace with a crying Isabelle in her arms, rubbing her back soothingly, trying to calm the girl down. Valentina had a hawk eye on her brother and girlfriend as soon as they stepped away from the group. But she walked over to them as soon as she saw her niece start to cry. 

“Iz, what happened baby?” Valentina stood behind Juliana trying to get a better look at Isabelle. With her arms around both Juls and Isabelle, Valentina kissed her niece on the head. Hoping to coax her out of her little hiding spot. To be honest, she could totally relate to Isabelle. Juliana’s neck was her favorite spot to hide too. 

“Looks like our little niece is too smart for her own good, hermanita. I was just talking to Juls and she thought I made her sad. I can’t say she was wrong.” “It’s okay. You’re okay right Iz?” Juliana didn’t want to acknowledge what Guille said. She just focused on trying to calm Isabelle down. 

Once the little girl was calmer, the group gathered around the table to begin eating. Isabelle was a little grumpy she had to sit beside her dad and not her favorite person, but Juls made her laugh by making funny faces at her from across the table. All sadness easily forgotten. Isabelle felt a strong need to be by Juliana’s side tonight. More so than usual. And she wasn’t the only one. Valentina’s hand wouldn’t leave Juliana’s throughout the entire meal. With a whole week of uncertainty, seeing her niece and Juls together made her latch on to Juls herself. 

“You know, wait until it’s your kids. I can’t wait to see who the pushover parent is between you two.” Renata said to the girls without thinking. They were met with laughs and smiles along the table, except from the two “parents” in question. Valentina felt Juliana stiffen. “I.. um.. yea, I don’t know.” Valentina desperately tried to cover up her uneasiness. Juliana was still silent. “So how many are you going to have? I bet you want one girl and one boy.” Mateo tried to offer his opinion. “We… we haven’t really-“ Valentina didn’t know what to say. She just felt a sinking feeling when Juliana let go of her hand and tried to change the subject. 

The truth was, they didn’t talk about kids yet. They were still so young and after everything that happened when they first got together, they just wanted to focus on each other. They were still in that honeymoon phase. How were they supposed to have kids when they played strip Go Fish every chance they got? Or if she still didn’t know how to cook and insisted on ordering in most of the time. At least that is what Valentina tried to tell herself. The truth was she wanted to talk to Juliana about it. Ever since her niece was born there was nothing she wanted more than for her and Juliana to have the whole dream. Marriage, kids, and a house they can grow old in together. It wasn’t the uncertainty of being with Juliana that caused fear to bubble up within in her, it was Juliana’s silence. Coupled up with the past week, she didn’t know if this was a topic that should be brought up right now. 

Juliana was silent for the rest of the night. If anyone noticed they didn’t say anything. Valentina did though. Especially when Juliana declined Isabelle’s request to put her to sleep. She just couldn’t be around the little girl right now. She was feeling suffocated and unknowingly Isabelle was making the thoughts in her head worse. Good thing the little girl was too sleepy to notice. Instead, Valentina took Isabelle from Mateo and put her down in the spare room they turned into a room for the little girl. 

XXXXX

They left shortly after, with an excuse that they had to be up early the next day. Valentina could see the panic swirling in Juliana’s eyes. She didn’t understand how a conversation about kids could freak her girlfriend out so much. Juliana was so good with her niece. 

The car ride was deafeningly silent. Valentina was now getting mad. She knew Juliana was struggling but it didn’t mean she had to take it out on her or her niece. 

As soon as they got into the apartment Valentina couldn’t hold back anymore. “What’s the matter with you? You completely shut down back there.”

“Val, I really don’t want to talk about this right now.” Juliana tried to walk away. She knew this was going to be a fight and she was not in the right head space to argue with Valentina. She was afraid of what would come out of her mouth. 

“Do you want kids?” Valentina just had to get it out there. In retrospect she knew there was a better time and place to bring up the topic but at this point she wanted to get Juliana to tell her what the real problem was. And at that moment, she felt the only way to do that was to provoke her. She didn’t think of the consequences if what Juliana said was something she didn’t want to hear. 

“Really Val? You’re bringing this up now?” 

“Yes really, Juliana,” Val usually never called her Juliana unless she was mad. Juliana knew then this would not end well. “Do you not want to have kids with me? What about getting married? Do you want that?” 

“Can we not talk about this now-“ “No, we’re going to talk about this. This is something we should be talking about. We’re in a relationship Juliana. Or have you forgotten that?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Juliana didn’t understand where this was coming from. Why did they have to talk about kids now? They were still too young for this conversation. 

“Exactly what I said. I want to know what you want. Where do you see us a few years down the road? What do you want Juliana?” 

Juliana’s silence sacred Valentina. She didn’t know where the panic in Juliana’s eyes was coming from. “You’ve been distant and borderline rude to me all week. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing! Nothing is wrong with me.” Juliana bellowed. This fight was spiraling out of control. She knew she was about to say some things she wasn’t sure she meant. “There is nothing wrong with me. And there is nothing wrong with me not wanting kids. If you want them so much, go find someone to have them with.

“I’m not enough for you right? So go! Go find someone that can give you these fictional babies you’re all of a sudden so obsessed with.”

“What? Where the hell is this coming from. I’m just trying to have a conversation with you about our future. We’ve never talked about this. How can you blame me for wanting to bring this up?” Valentina was on her last nerve.

“I can’t deal with this right now. I have to get some sleep. I have school and work tomorrow and I want to be able to function. Once you’re over whatever bitch trip you’re on we can talk about this again.” Juliana tried to walk away before Valentina got in her way. 

“Now you’re just being mean. We need to talk about this, we can’t go to bed this mad at each other.” Valentina was not about to back down. The real reason for Juliana’s behaviour was going to come out one way or an another. “We’re finishing this conversation now.”

“Not all of us are the princess of Mexico. We can’t afford to bail on our responsibilities. I have to –“ Juliana couldn’t help it. She knew Val was right, but she felt backed into a corner. “I don’t give a shit about what you have to do. Stop punishing me for my life circumstance. I couldn’t control any of this just as you couldn’t control the cards life handed you.” Val had tears in her eyes. She was so mad and scared she couldn’t help it. Juliana started to pace back and forth. This is not how either of them wanted to have this conversation. 

“Why can’t you just talk to me. Why are w-“

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME.” Juliana screamed. She felt like she was seconds away from rushing to Valentina. Valentina was so taken back. She didn’t register that Juliana just stood frozen. Something shifted, Juliana now looked terrified. All of Valentina’s anger dissipated as she saw Juliana’s face. Yet all Juliana saw was fear in Valentina’s eyes. Mistaking Val’s surprise for fear. 

Juliana on the other hand was transported back in time. All she saw was Chino rushing to her mother and hitting her. Her mind bombarded her with all the yelling and abuse she saw from her childhood. This time it wasn’t Chino and her mother. It was her and Val. Was she going to hit Val? She was so angry all she wanted was for Val to stop provoking her. All of a sudden, Juliana started crying. And not the single tear she would shed here and there. She was terrified. She could not get Chino’s face out of her head. Was Val scared of her?

Valentina slowly approached Juls, arms out in a placating manner, showing that she wasn’t going to hurt Juliana. All anger left her body as soon as she saw Juliana’s scared face. Something happened. Juliana was no longer in the same room as her, her mind was somewhere else. “Juls? What just happened, baby? Are you okay?” Her voice was as soft and as calm as she could make it. 

“I – I almost.” Juliana’s eyes were frantic. She was shanking. “Juls, it’s okay. I’m right here. What happened sweetheart?” 

“I can’t do this.” Juliana rushed away from Val. She had to get out of there before she did something to Val. She would never be able to forgive herself if she turned into Chino. 

“Wait? What?” Valentina followed Juliana into the bedroom to see her packing a bag. She tried to grab the bag from Juliana. Valentina tried to look into Juls’ eyes, but was refused. “What’s going on. Where are you going?” 

“I… I can’t do this anymore. I can be here. With you. This isn’t working. We’re too different and clearly we want different things.”

Valentina couldn’t comprehend what was happening. “No… no, you don’t mean that. I know you’re mad, but you don’t have to leave. I’ll let you cool off. We can talk about this later. I’ll even sleep on the couch. Don’t leave.” Valentina’s pleading voice crushed Juliana. But she couldn’t back out. This was her fault. She couldn’t stay and turn into her nightmare. 

“I can’t, I don’t think this is working. I don’t think we should be together.”

“What? You’re breaking up with me? Because we had a stupid fight? We love each other of course we’re going to fight.” Valentina tried to get Juliana to listen. She wasn’t thinking clearly. How could they break up? “It doesn’t mean you walk away Juliana!”

Juliana left the room with her bag on her way to the door. Valentina caught up to her and grabbed her arm, “don’t do this. I love you. Please don’t leave.” Juliana had to get out of there. She couldn’t stand to see Val like this. And it was all her fault. She would accept any punishment that came her way. 

“I’m sorry. I just –“ she took a shaky breath, “I just can’t be with you anymore.” 

She slowly released her arm form Valentina’s grip as she opened the door. “So that’s it? You end this relationship without a reason or giving me a say in any of it?

“I love you.” Valentina whispered. Juliana had to close her eyes at that. Valentina was better off without her. “I’m going to be at my mom’s. I’ll get my stuff later.”

She almost stumbled as she heard Valentina sob though the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so..... yea.... *hides*  
> don't worry I'll get the next chapter up tomorrow and Im currently working on all the fluff that comes once all this drama ends. And it will end.
> 
> Sorry if there are any mistakes! Once again I tried to catch them all.


	8. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lupe tries to give Valentina an insight into Juliana's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to put a little *TRIGGER WARNING* in here for abuse  
> Nothing very graphic or too intense at all
> 
> I just don't want to offend anyone. 
> 
> This one was a little hard to write.

_The sun streamed through the window, basking the bedroom in a golden hue, it made it seem like Juliana was glowing from within as she kissed Valentina’s nose, “open your eyes, beautiful.” Juls always looked at her with such love. “No.” Was all the sleepy voice could say. “Come on, baby, let me see those blue eyes. I love you so much.” Juliana said with a soft smile. One of Valentina’s favorite smiles. “Just open your eyes, sweetheart. Let me see you.” Slowly Valentina opened her eyes, wanting nothing more to be in the arms of the one she loved…._

Emptiness. Just the light flickering off the TV. That is all Valentina sees when she opens her eyes. It was just a dream. 

Valentina is so consumed with grief. She hasn’t left the couch since Juliana left. If Valentina thought their breakup in the beginning of their relationship was heartbreaking, she feels absolutely destroyed right now. Finally knowing what’s it like to really be with Juliana, living with her and imaging a future with her, makes this situation soul crushing. Every text and phone call she’s made to Juliana has gone unanswered. At this point, the TV is on but its background noise, she doesn’t even remember turning it on. She doesn’t hear the incessant knocking either. Once the noise seeps into her consciousness, she still doesn’t get up. She doesn’t care who it is. The only person she wants to see right now wouldn’t knock. 

Just as she’s about to shut her eyes again she received a text message. 

_**Lupe** : It’s me. Can you open the door por favor?_

Lupe? That’s actually the last person that Valentina expects at the door. She knew Juliana was going to her mom’s, but it still doesn’t make sense why Lupe is here. Then it hits her. Maybe Lupe is coming to get Juliana’s things. This only makes Val burry her head in the pillow she’s laying on. She definitely does not want to let Lupe in if that is the case. 

_**Lupe** : Please, mija? I just want to talk to you. I won’t stay long._

Valentina doesn’t think Lupe would lie to get into the house. At least she hopes she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t be able to see Lupe leave with Juliana’s things because it can’t be over between them. Juls is just mad, she will come back. Valentina shouldn’t have provoked her like that. 

To avoid going down this self-blame spiral, Valentina slowly gets up to open the door. It takes her a minute to get her barings as she feels a little dizzy. She can’t remember the last time she ate. She opens the door but can’t manage to look at Lupe for long. The sorrow in her eyes shows Valentina that Juliana told her mother that they had a fight. She wonders if Juliana told her mother that she broke up with her as well. 

“Oh mija,” as soon as Lupe sees Valentina, she envelops her in a tight hug. Trying to show the sad girl all the motherly love she can. She knows what Juliana is doing. To be honest she was waiting for the day that the life she provided for her daughter would catch up to her. But Valentina doesn’t know the full story, she doesn’t know how Juliana got to be this way. And if she knows her daughter as well as she thinks she does, there is no way that Juliana has voiced this. This is how she knows Juliana is Chino’s daughter, they are both too stubborn and closed off for this world. 

“Can we talk for a few minutes please? I promise I won’t be long. I just need to tell you something.” Val doesn’t say anything at first, she just steps aside so Lupe can enter. “Would you – “ she has to clear her throat. It’s become so raw from lack of use and crying that her words come out with a croak. “Sorry, would you like something to drink or eat?” “No dear, don’t worry about me. I can make you something though. When was the last time you ate?” Valentina just shakes her head. Anything she puts in her stomach right now will just come right back up. “it’s okay, thank you. I’m not very hungry.”

They make their way to the couch just as Valentina turns off the TV, each sitting on one end. Valentina is scared of what Lupe has to say, all she can do is to curl into herself and try not to cry. “How is Juliana?” She’s almost afraid to ask. She’s not sure what’s worse. Juliana feeling like this was the right thing to do, or her being just as sad as Valentina is. 

“She’s… she’s okay mija. But I wanted to tell you something about my stubborn daughter if I can?” Val gives Lupe the smallest of smiles. A success in Lupe’s book at least. Lupe takes a deep breath, this is not going to be easy for Valentina to hear, but she has to get this out. Her daughter and Valentina belong together, and she feels like it’s her fault that they are both in this situation. The least she can do its try and shed some light into why Juliana reacted the way she did. 

“Juli didn’t really tell me anything. She just came to our place crying, practically hyperventilating and said you two broke up, but that she did not want to talk about it. She actually doesn’t know I’m here. She was still sleeping when I left.” Valentina looks at the clock. 1:37pm. “I know, it’s strange for her to be sleeping at this time. But I’m sure you can imagine why.”

“Valentina, I’m going to tell you something but it’s not going to be easy to hear. In fact, I’m not sure I can get everything out myself. But just hear me out before you say anything okay? Please mija.” Valentina can only nod. If she was scared before, she downright petrified right now. 

“Juliana was such a happy baby. Even as a toddler she was so cute and feisty. She had this smirk that I knew meant she would drive me up the wall.” Valentina and Lupe can’t help but smile. This sounds just like Juls. “She was so happy. Her eyes held so much innocence and trust. But Juli was probably around 4 or 5 years old when this happened. I had just worked an 18-hour shift and I came home to the trailer to find Chino sleeping and Juli gone. I was so tried and angry! I knew I shouldn’t have left her with him, he was an asshole, but Juliana’s regular babysitter couldn’t watch her.” Valentina is surprised by the swear word but she silently let’s Lupe continue. 

“I didn’t wake him up. I looked around the trailer park but couldn’t find her. I finally went to the park right beside us, and there she was. This little 5-year-old holding an old soccer ball watching the other kids play.” Lupe needs to breathe; she can remember the day so clearly. 

“She took her ball and went up to those kids and asked to play. That was always my little Juli. So fearless,” Lupe can no longer look at Val when she says this, “but they wouldn’t let her play. They were calling her names and told her to leave them alone. I honestly can’t remember what they said exactly, because all I could see was her face. She looked so... sad.” Valentina has to close her eyes at this, “but I was stupid. I didn’t think about her being sad. All I thought was that she left the trailer and made me worry about her. I went up to her, I’m sure I startled her when I got there, and I told her to come with me. We were going home. 

“As we were walking back, she just kept looking at her feet and hugging her ball. But I just kept yelling at her. I wasn’t paying attention to her pain. When got back to the trailer, I guess the window of our bedroom was open, and all my yelling work up Chino.” Val wants to turn away, but she can’t. She scared of what Lupe might say next. 

“Once we got inside Chino was so mad. He kept yelling. More so at me for waking him up, I’m pretty sure he was still drunk. He said something and Juli jumped, she got a little scared and the ball fell out of her hands. Chino kept walking back and forth as I was sitting on the table and I guess he almost tripped on it or something. Because the next thing I knew he went over to Juliana and grabbed her by the arms, he was practically lifting her little body off the ground and he-“ Lupe is shaking at this point. 

“He yelled at her so loudly and abruptly that she wet herself.” Lupe has to pause for a moment. “Can you imagine a little girl being so frightened that she wets herself?” Tears are flowing down Valentina face; she’s praying that Lupe came to this little girl’s rescue. “Chino noticed and smacked her on the cheek, hard, and she just wailed.” Lupe is furiously wiping her eyes at this point. 

“I told him to get the hell out. And he did. He stormed out. I tried to approach Juli but she was so scared. I told her it was okay, and we would get her cleaned up.” Lupe tried to look at Valentina, but she couldn’t face the girl. She still has so much to say. 

“That day. That innocence and laughter left Juliana's eyes. At 5 years old.” Valentina hands her the tissue box still not saying anything. “Valentina, I don’t know if you and my daughter have talked about this, but when you have kids. And you see this little being you made; I cannot describe the amount of love you feel. It literally consumes you. You will never feel love that like, not with any other person. But if you see your child lose that childlike wonder and you see fear and humiliation at such an early age. It will destroy you.”

Valentina buries her head in her hands. If she thought she was heartbroken and crushed before, she is absolutely devastated for this little sad girl that Juliana was. And it’s not pity. It’s love, she loves Juliana so much that the thought of her going through one ounce of what Lupe just describes crushes her. “I hope she doesn’t remember any of that.” Is all she has the ability to say. 

“I hope so too. But things didn’t get easier. Not with the kids at school or with Chino. And I do blame myself for that. I should have taken her away from that life as soon as I could. I’m not here looking for your forgiveness or anything –“ “Good. Because, with all due respect Lupe, and I know you are Juliana’s mother, but I don’t think I can give it to you.” Lupe is taken back by Valentina’s words but on some level, she expected it. She was never the mother Juliana deserved. 

“I deserve that. But the reason I told you this is because Juliana is scared. I don’t know if she knows why. But I think it’s because she doesn’t want to give you the type of life she or I had. She wants so much more for you. And I think deep down she’s scared of being like Chino. Of hurting you like Chino hurt her.”

XXXXXXXX

Panchito watches Juliana from the kitchen as she sits on the couch in his apartment, she’s not looking at anything in particular, Panchito is not even sure she’s really present. He gives a light knock to the entry way of the kitchen, so he doesn’t scare the girl. “Juliana?” he whispers softly when she doesn’t immediately respond. 

“Oh, sorry Panchito. I didn’t hear you.”

“It’s okay. Do you mind if I sit?” Juliana doesn’t think she really has a choice. It’s his house after all. Panchito and Juliana we not close by any means. But there a sense of mutual respect and trust between the two. Juliana was so happy that her mother was able to find some semblance of happiness with Panchito. She deserved it after everything she had gone through with Chino. 

Juliana meets her mother at least once a week for lunch or dinner. She’s not used to being away from Lupe for so long that it’s nice to catch up. She always opens the invitation to Valentina. She wants Val to be as close to her mom as Val is to Leon. They are starting a life together and all she wants is for her family, her whole family, to be close.

At least that’s what they were doing before Juliana screwed everything up. She doesn’t want to break up with Valentina. She knows that her and Val are meant to be. But their fight scared her. The images of Chino in her head make her wonder if she could get so mad at Val that she would hurt her. 

But what scares Juliana more is what if she would love Val so much that she would hurt her. Her mother loved Chino. Despite everything he had done to her or Juliana, all Lupe saw in Chino’s blue eyes was love. It’s why she couldn’t leave him, why they followed him to Mexico even when he didn’t want anything to do with them – regardless if that wasn’t actually Chino talking, Lupe didn’t know that at first. Just as Lupe loved Chino, Chino also loved Lupe. It was much later in life that Juliana realized that Chino loved Lupe so much that he hurt her so she would stay with him. As messed up and psychotic as it sounds, that’s what he was doing. He thought Lupe cheated on him for years, well into Juliana early adulthood, yet he still stayed with Lupe. And as far as Juliana knew, he was faithful to her. In his mind he needed Lupe, and if there was anytime Lupe would think of leaving, he would make sure that he made her stay. 

Juliana always believed that she was nothing like Chino. The one thing she agreed with him on, was that he was not her father. But she loves Val so much, she’s always been so afraid that Val would find someone better, what if that love consumed her so much that she felt like she had to make Valentina stay with her. No matter what. Just the thought of becoming that type of person makes Juliana shed more tears. She completely forgot that Panchito was beside her. 

“What happened Juliana? What happened with Valentina? Did you guys get in a fight?” Panchito always knew his place in Juliana’s life. She didn’t exactly consider him a father, and that was okay, he just wanted to make sure that she would at least consider him an ally. And Juliana did, even if she didn’t voice it, if it wasn’t for Panchito she wouldn’t even have a relationship with her mother right now. 

“Yea… we had a fight. A bad one. And I freaked out and broke up with her.” Saying it out loud makes Juliana feel so much worse. “I was stupid. It’s my fault. I felt pushed into a corner and lashed out.” Juliana knows there is more. Now that she’s aware of what happened, she knows she needs to actually talk to Val and apologize. And for once she needs to tell her what’s in her head. It doesn’t feel right to her to tell someone else before she talks to Val. She owes her (ex?) girlfriend that at least. 

“Did you mean it?” Surprisingly this is not what she expected from Panchito. She expected him to try and be empathetic or ask her why she felt the need to break up with Valentina, but the question throws her off a little. She takes a deep breath and pauses. Not because she doesn’t know what to say, but because she can’t open her mouth without crying all over again. 

“No.” is all she can get out. 

She can’t help but burry her head in her hands and cry, Panchito has never seen Juliana really cry, and definitely not this hard. He wraps an arm around her, and she can’t help but curl into him and bask in that fatherly comfort she’s never, ever known. 

“You have to talk to her Juliana. I know it’s hard, but you love her. And like you said you didn’t mean it. I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me, but you do owe it to her to tell her the truth. This relationship isn’t going to work if you two can’t communicate. Especially about the hard stuff.” Panchito tries to offer. 

“Thank you, Panchito. I’m going to take a shower; I need to talk to Val.” She gets up, and before she can overthink it, she gives Panchito a hug and a kiss to the cheek. Maybe her life would have been different if Panchito was her father. Who knows? But what she does know is that no matter what path her life would take it would always lead to Valentina. They were soulmates. In this life and the next. 

Just as Juliana turns on the shower she makes a phone call, “Alejandro? Hey, it’s Juliana. Listen, can you take my shift tonight? Something really important came up and I can’t make it.” She needs to go to Valentina, she’s sure Perlita will understand. 

Just as Juliana is finished changing and grabbing her things, feeling a little better knowing what she has to do to get her girl back, her mother comes home. 

“Juli? Mija? Are you okay?” Lupe see’s Juliana with her things, it was time to talk to her daughter now, “where are you going?”

Juliana kisses her mother on the cheek and gives Panchito a small wave. 

“Home.”

Maybe Lupe doesn’t need to talk to her after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say that I never thought of posting any story I wrote for the public. But during this uncertain time, I cannot begin to tell you guys how much this has helped me. 
> 
> And honestly! It's because of all the love you have shown me. I've always wondered if when writers say "reviews helped me keep the story going" or whatever, were they sincere? And it is a resounded YES!! All the love and comments have 1000% kept me going. And more importantly really helped me during this pandemic!
> 
> Thank you all so so much!


	9. My Whole World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Val and Juls finally talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks... this is it. 
> 
> Well for now. This is the end of this "chapter" in their lives. I still have a lot I want to write about these two and their lives so I am going to do a second part to this. I just need to organize my thoughts - but I should be uploading at least the 1st chapter soon. 
> 
> I struggled with this one... I wanted it to come off as real as possible without these issues that they have just being brushed under the rug. So I really, really hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> I also try to explain my reasoning for using this title. I hope the wait was worth it and it makes sense! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your love and support on this!

_The sun streamed through the window, basking the bedroom in a golden hue, it made it seem like Juliana was glowing from within as she kissed Valentina’s nose, “open your eyes, beautiful.” Juls always looked at her with such love. “No.” Was all the sleepy voice could say. “Come on, baby, let me see those blue eyes. I love you so much.” Juliana said with a soft smile. One of Valentina’s favorite smiles. “Just open your eyes, sweetheart. Let me see you.” “No, you’re not here.” Valentina feels tears stream down her cheeks. “Yes, I am baby, please open your eyes.”_

_Valentina thinks this is how things are going to be now. She’s going to see Juls every time she closes her eyes. Sighing in defeat, slowly Valentina opened her eyes, knowing that she’s not going to see Juls …_

Her mind is playing tricks on her. Maybe she should have eaten something. There she is, eyes slightly swollen and red, but she’s here. “Juls?” “I’m here Val. I’m so sorry.” All Valentina can do is burry her head in her hands and cry. Juls came back. 

“Val, can we talk please? I’m so sorry I left like that. But let me explain. Please?” Valentina can only nod, she’s so happy to see Juls, but she’s trying to protect herself. She doesn’t want another fight and she definitely doesn’t want Juls to say she meant it when she broke up with her. She slowly sits up before a dizzy spell hits her. “Val? Are you okay? What’s happening?” “No, nothing. I’m just a little dizzy.” Val reasons. 

“Have you eaten anything?” Juliana’s guilt intensifies after a shake of the head from Valentina. “Let me make you something real quick ok-“ “No, Juls. If you’re here just to end this, I’d rather not have anything to eat. I don’t think I could stomach anything right now.” Valentina interrupts her. 

“No, that’s not why I’m here. I just want to explain.”

“I’m really not hungry, Juls.” Val sounds so defeated. Juliana needs to make this right. 

“Okay. That’s okay. Hold on, I’ll be right back.” Juliana leaves for a bit and all Val can do is close her eyes. How did they get here?

“Here, Val. Try eating this. It will be good to put something in your stomach.” Juliana is back before Valentina even noticed. Juls hands Val a slice of toast with Nutella and banana slices and Valentina can’t help up smile. _How did she do this so fast?_ Val can’t help but think. 

“Please eat something Val.” It scares Juliana how pale Val looks and it’s all her fault. All of sudden Val feels a cool cloth on her face. She can only look at Juliana with so much fondness and love. As she chews slowly, Juliana takes a facial wipe and wipes her face, hoping to make Val feel a little refreshed. This only causes Valentina to cry more, there is no way this can be over. Not when there is so much love between them. 

“No, no Val. Don’t cry, please?” Juliana can’t help but have tears in her eyes. Seeing Val this distraught is worse than anything she could ever imagine. Before they both just sit here crying all day Juliana puts the wipe away. She has to explain everything to Val. It’s now or never. 

She sits on the couch beside Val and takes a deep breath. Valentina knows this is going to be a heavy conversation. As she puts her plate on the table, snack halfway finished, she sees Juliana extend her hand slowly; asking for permission. Juliana wants to hold Val, but she also wants to respect her space. She can’t confuse the girl and show mixed feelings. So she extends her hand in hopes that Val will hold it, she’s always found an undeniable strength in Valentina. And now she needs it more than ever. 

“I’m going to try my best to explain where my head is at, okay?” She looks into Val’s eyes. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been in a relationship. Let alone a serious one. I didn't think it was going to happen for me.” Okay, maybe looking at Val while she speaks is not as easy as she thought. “I’ve gotten used to keeping things to myself. Other people’s issues always seem so much more intense or problematic, no one has ever really wanted to hear my problems. Mainly with my mom and Chino. They were the only people I was around. And their issues were way too insane for them to consider my feelings. So I learned to keep everything to myself. I always thought I could handle it.” Valentina can only squeeze Juliana’s hand and think about that sad little girl. 

“I don’t mean that to come off as me defending my inability to talk to you. I just meant it in the sense that I’m just not used to it. So sometimes,” she looks at Val and only sees understanding, “okay most of the time, I don’t really know how to use my words. I feel like I try to process things for so long so that I get the words right. “ “They don’t have to be right or wrong, Juls. I just want to know what you feel. Your feelings matter to me.” Juliana can only smile at Val’s words. 

“I know that. Now at least. I mean, I’ve always known that I matter to you. I think I just had to feel like I did also.” Before Val can read too much into the statement Juliana continues. “I know it’s kind of annoying that I have all these insecurities and they get in the way of things. Or I get really stubborn and hardheaded. And I know you reassure me all the time. I don’t want you to think I don’t believe you. I’m just frustrated at I can’t get those thoughts out of my head.”

“I can understand that you know. And I’ll always reassure you. No matter how many times you need it.” Juliana gives a light kiss to the back of Valentina’s hand. “I know you will. But that’s not the issue. The issue is me. It’s something I have to work on. It’s not your responsibility for me to feel worthy. I need to feel that on my own. But you, Val,” she looks right at Val this time, “you make me feel like I can do anything. You’ve always been my muse and my number one source of stength.” 

“Last night,” _has it really only just been a day?_ Valentina can’t help up think, “I got spooked. We were talking about the future and considering everything I was mentally dealing with before, it just freaked me out. I was thinking I wasn’t good enough for you and now I had to think about having kids. What if you didn’t want to be with me, I didn’t want to think of a happy ever after if all of a sudden you decided you didn’t want that – with me.” And before Valentina can retort Juliana continues, “and I know how that sounds. I know that you wouldn’t think that. But in my head you did.”

“I think that was you projecting all these negative thoughts on me so you wouldn’t have to deal with these insecurities.” At least that’s what it sounded like to Val. “That’s 100% what I was doing.” It filled her with so much love and a little bit of fear that Valentina could read her that well. “Even if I didn’t know it at the time.”

Now comes the heavy stuff, “but when I yelled at you,” Juliana wills herself to get through this. “A part of me felt like I was going to rush over to you. I felt like I was backed into a corner and I just needed you to stop.” Juliana closes her eyes. “In that instant, before my body could move, all I saw was Chino. Going after my mom or me. And that image distorted itself and all of a sudden I was going after you… the way Chino did.” Juliana has tears in her eyes, streaming down her face, she hates this image. “And Valentina, I would never forgive myself if I hurt you like that.” 

Valentina can’t deal with this distance anymore. She moves close to Juliana and wraps her arm around Juls’ neck and feels strong arms circle her waist. “Was that the shift in your face?” All Juliana could do was nod into her neck. “I was so scared that one day I would hurt you. And I thought if I left, you would never get the chance to find out.” Valentina pulls back slightly, “Juls, baby, I was never sacred. Ever. I was shocked. I saw your face transform right before my eyes and I didn’t know what happened.” She wipes Juliana’s tears, kissing her on the nose. “I’m not afraid of you. Because I know with everything I am, that you will never hurt me like that.” Valentina desperately wants Juliana to believe her. 

“What if I love you so much that I don’t want you to leave. What if I do things to make you stay. Violent things. I love you so much, Val. So, so much. And despite how I was acting or what my insecurities are, you’re it for me. You’re my whole word.”

“Juls, do you know why I’m not afraid that you might physically hurt me? Or that you will try to _make_ me stay?” Val makes sure to emphasize her words. “Because the thought of you even remotely hurting me like that made you leave. You wanted to be so far away that it wouldn’t even be possible for you to do that. You removed what you feared the most. Yourself.” Val kisses Juliana’s head. “We’re not your parents. And you are nothing like Chino. Every time you hold me or touch me I can feel how much you love me. You hold me like I’m the most precious thing in the world to you.” “You are. To me, you are.” Juliana still has a lot she wants to get out, but she feels a weight lifted off of her shoulders. 

“I didn’t mean it.” Juliana can barely get the words out as she cries. “I swear to you, I didn’t mean it. I don’t want to be without you. I love you so much.”

“I know Juls. I don’t want to be without you either. I love you too, baby. But you have to talk to me, okay?” Valentina makes sure to look into Juliana’s eyes as she says this. “You have to talk to me about what goes on in there,” she kisses Juliana’s forehead. “You can’t just run from what hurts you. I can’t promise we won’t fight or argue. But I can promise that no matter what we will work it out together, okay?” Juliana nods. Val is right. Together they can do anything. “I promise.” They kiss slowly. The last 24 hours has felt like an eternity. There is one more thing that Juliana need to get out before she can breathe properly again. 

“Val, about kids –“ “No, no. Don’t worry Juls. We can talk about that another time.” Now its Val’s turn to apologize. “I’m sorry too. I knew talking about kids at that moment wasn’t the right time. I was trying to provoke you. I just wanted to know what was wrong and I didn’t know how to ask.” She presses their foreheads together. “I looks like I need to work on my communication too.” 

“We can work on it together. We have our whole lives to get it right.” And Juliana truly believes that. 

“But Val, I just need to say something. And then I promise. You’ll know all that’s going on in my head.” Juliana says with a small smile. “I want kids with you Val. Of course, I do.” Valentina has a fresh set of tears in her eyes. But this time they are happy tears. “I’d love to have a little girl with your eyes and your laugh. How could I not want that? Maybe not right away, I do think we're still young and there is so much we still have to do with work and school. But I want everything with you. I want us to get married and go somewhere fun on our honeymoon. I want to discover everything about you. And I can’t wait to make babies with you.” 

“I want that too, amor.”

“But Val,” Juliana all of a sudden looks sad, “what if… what if they get hurt or made fun of? What if people see them with two moms and punish them for something they can’t control? I want kids, but I don’t want them to be hurt. No because of me.” This was it. This is what Juliana was so afraid of when it comes to having kids. She knew how irrational that sounded, she knew she couldn't control anything, but her past still haunted her. You can love your child with everything in you, and she vowed to do that. She was never going to be anything like Chino when it comes to her children. But what if they got teased? She was so lonely and sad as a child and she never wants that for anyone. Especially her own kids.

Valentina finally understands Juliana’s reluctance, all she can think about is that little 5-year-old girl Lupe told her about. “We can’t control that Juls. As much as I want to, and no matter how hard we try, we can’t control how the world will treat our kids. Or anyone really.” She brushes a few strands of hair out of Juliana’s face. “Look at me, we have had very different childhoods, yet I was teased by my whole school for being gay. Something I couldn’t control. Just like you couldn’t control your life circumstances.

“But what we can do is love them. And provide a home that is full of love, laughter, and acceptance.” She wants to make sure that Juliana hears this. “Our kids, Juls. They are always going to be loved. So much. Trust me. I know what it’s like to be loved by you and I swear it gets me though everything.”

They could do this. And they would do this. Juliana is sure of it. With Val by her side they are going to live a full and happy life. 

Juliana laid back on the couch bringing Valentina with her. She wanted to hold her girlfriend. “You know, when it’s my time, when we old and grey and 110 years old.” Juliana states after a moment of silence. “110 huh? That’s really old Juls.” Valentina hovers above Juliana has she play’s with Juls’ hair. Much longer now that they are older, but still just as soft and silky as it’s always been.

“It’s okay, you’ll be 110 right there with me.” She kisses Valentina on the forehead, “when it’s my time to die, I’m going to be smiling. I’m going to be smiling because I know I lived an amazing life with you.”

“Me too, baby, I’m going to be smiling when I die too.” 

“Unless we transmigrate, then I’m hunting your ass down.” Juliana can’t help but laugh at Valentina’s words. Wholeheartedly agreeing with her. 

“Okay, let’s stop talking about dying. Wanna take a bath?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> Continuation should be up tomorrow or the next day, hopefully!! 
> 
> Thank you once again for everything! You guys really make me smile!


	10. Wonderwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note

Hi everyone!

I started the next chapter in the lives of our favourite girls titled "Wonderwall". 

[https://archiveofourown.org/works/23637052/chapters/56730865](url)

I would really love it if you took the time to check it out!!

Thank you again for all the love and support I have received. 

I wouldn't be able to do this without you guys.

Lots of love,  
51177


End file.
